She Said/ He Said "Online Dating Strategy"

June 28, 2014

She Said/ He Said "Online Dating Strategy"


She Said


You may think online dating is fun and games. And while it certainly can be fun, it’s not a game… if you want to find love online, it’s a strategy. So stop throwing spaghetti at the walls and hoping something will stick. I know… online dating can be daunting, but if you have your strategy down, it doesn’t have to be.


While it’s the last thing I want to admit, photos play a major role when it comes to a great online dating profile- particularly for a woman’s profile. Why? Because men are visual creatures- they can’t help themselves. While women are more emotional creatures.


When it comes to the photos, you’ve go to make sure that your photos are high quality and that they show and tell who you are- various aspects of your best self living your best life. As a whole, your photos are your visual biography. They can actually be incredibly revealing if you look beyond the face and focus on the place, activity, other people, and accessories revealed.


But lets focus on the written portion of the profile. The main and most important element of your profile is that it is an authentic depiction of you! Your profile should make the reader feel like they are getting a true sense of who you are, based on the energy that jumps off the page and paints a picture of the life that you live, making the reader want to know more and maybe even join you on the journey! However, this isn’t your opportunity to create the ultimate advertisement to sell yourself to everyone and make everyone fall for you. Instead, it’s an invitation to attract certain people- the right people, while simultaneously turning off the wrong people. Yes- elimination is an essential component to a successful online dating strategy.


The way that you write your profile, the things that you say, are your first opportunity to edit out the people who will, in the end, be a waste of your time since they aren’t right for you and never were from the very beginning.


Truly, I could go on and on… which is why I have entire coaching sessions with clients, teaching them how to present themselves, as well as how to evaluate the profiles of potential partners. But at least you’ve got a few tips for immediate takeaway.




I’d be lying if I didn’t say that your profile photo is hands down the most important part of the initial inquiry. Yes I’m saying that when it comes to online dating, a great photo is a must if you would like to have a competitive advantage or even a chance at success in the dating game.

To be clear: all the other information is equally valid and important. But if you don’t have an amazing photo, people will glance and go, never having had the chance to learn more about you on a deeper level. It’s harsh and unfortunate, but it’s the reality of the online dating world.


Ladies here are some quick profile photo tips to help increase your odds of success: Guys want to see you. Just YOU! They don’t want other guys around, even if it’s your best friend or your brother. They’ll get jealous. It’s a natural instinct. You don’t want other girls in it either, because then you’ve created a platform for comparison and believe me you don’t want to voluntarily give men that option.

Gentlemen, your turn: DON’T post a shirtless bathroom selfie! If you want to show off your abs have someone take a photo of you engaging in a sport where you’re likely to be shirtless anyway; surfing, beach volleyball etc… AND don’t make that your main profile photo either. DO however grab your dogs, cats, or bunnies and include them, women love when a man can show the softer side.


Ladies and Gentlemen: Make sure your profile photo actually looks like you. The best you. But still you. This means no selfies or cropped shots. Get a photo taken by someone that knows how to use a camera and not just a cell phone. Your initial profile photo should accentuate all the great physical- yes physical, attributes you have to offer. It’s your visual resume! If you applied online for a job, you wouldn’t send them a cropped picture of you at a bar with a cocktail in your hand right? So why would you do it on your dating profile?


As a man, but also as an Online Profile Photographer, I know firsthand how imperative it is to capture a telling image of you that speaks volumes in thumbnail form. Yes what you write is important, but if the cover of your autobiography doesn’t immediately get people’s attention, as unfortunate as it is, no one’s going to open it up to read more.


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