She Said/ He Said You had a great first date… Who makes the next move?

August 3, 2014

She Said/ He Said

You had a great first date… Who makes the next move?



Ladies, this one is on you. You had a great date. He paid for it- obviously. And you’re interested in seeing him again. Sending a post-date “Thank you” text is essential if you liked the guy and would like to see him again. Yes—you send that first text. Here’s why: the guy planned and paid for dinner. Men, like dogs, do things on the reward system. If they do something you like, you reward them by letting them know that they did a great job. Think about how men are at work. If they put in a little extra effort, they are rewarded by a compliment from the boss, a “great job” handshake, and eventually maybe a raise or an elevated job title. If their extra work goes unnoticed, the guy isn’t going to continue to make the effort. Why would he? No one seems to notice. He wants to please you. Reward him by telling him that you had a great time and you look forward to seeing him again. Sending a text to say “thank you” isn’t being too forward. In fact, it’s a very feminine thing to do—to show gratitude. You are expressing your appreciation. Don’t stress about it. Just do it.



So your mind has been blown by conversation and you can already feel the butterflies fluttering about, but where do you go next? Well this is kind of a choose-your-own-adventure based on your feelings. Some claim you have to wait two or three days to call so you don't seem too "needy." You can throw that old school approach in the trash right next to your rotary phone and bypass the games.


First off ladies if he took you out, paid for your dinner and was a true gentlemen who you'd love to see again, you could start by texting him a simple thank you after the date. It's not clingy or needy, it's polite and thoughtful. We definitely don't need a play by play every ten minutes but don't be afraid to make first contact. Guys can be just as nervous asking you out a second time as they were the first, so every little bit of encouragement helps.


Feedback is a must! Men WANT and NEED positive reinforcement when they do things you enjoy so they'll know to keep doing them.


Gentlemen, unlike firearms there's no need for a waiting period to contact her after the date. If you had fun, and you like her, LET HER KNOW! But be specific when you tell her what was so great about it, and save the "your eyes were so entrancing" compliment for the next unoriginal guy. Dig a little deeper than the typical physical compliments that girls are used to hearing or, the ultimate bore, "I had a good time." You'll get a lot farther with a heartfelt comment about her personality or interests that shows you were paying attention. And ultimately if you just can't get her out of your head, it's time to pick up the phone, the old fashion way, and actually speak to the person on the other end to make your next move. 

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